47 myself?

I’ve noticed that this blog has over 800 hits…not bad. Pretty impressive but I’m also a little creeped out. Who looks at this anyway? Whatevs.

Last night was very tough. My mind was made up and i was finally going to choose what was best for me. In the situation though it was difficult to not get lost in the emotion and I basically completely forgot what the hell I was doing in the first place. I was so sure but I don’t know where I’m at anymore.

Winter break is probably coming at a good time, though I’m not entirely certain. At a time like this, will separation help or harm? I don’t know. At least I’m back for three days between christmas and new years. I’ll have the house to myself and I’m going to just relax all day and accomplish nothing. For once in my life I think i deserve that.

Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you
Counting my footsteps, praying the floor won’t fall through, again.
My mother accused me of losing my mind, but I swore I was fine
You’d paint me a blue sky then go back and turn it to rain
And I lived in your chess game, but you changed the rules every day
Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone tonight
Well I stopped picking up, and this song is to let you know why

Well maybe it’s me and my blind optimism to blame
Maybe it’s you and your sick need to give love then take it away
And you’ll add my name to your long list of traitors who don’t understand
And I’ll look back and regret how I ignored when they said “run as fast as you can”

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~ by thescientist0 on December 22, 2010.

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